Si Vis Pacem Parabellum

| Thursday, July 14 2016 |

Dear Apple,

I've been buying Airport Extreme base stations for a good long while. Since they existed, in fact. And a few days ago, when one of my original pizza box units decided it no longer wanted to run for more than 12 hours at a time, I upgraded to yet another of the current models. That would be the sixth one I've bought this year, if you were keeping track-- not because they're unreliable, but because I use them everywhere.

However, this particular unit lived in a somewhat odd networking environment, in where two AEs operate on the same subnet, with different DHCP IP block allocations, due largely to a need for firewalling and routing the two networks they create differently. This was not a problem with the pizza box units, or even the more current missile silo unit-- and in fact, remains something the hardware will happily continue to do.

The entirely annoying discovery I made, however, is that since the 6.x release of Airport Utility, the fucking software no longer allows one to set a "DHCP only" network mode, nor assign arbitrary IP ranges for said DHCPing-- things that are entirely normal and valid on any network.

In order to make the hardware I fucking paid for do what the fuck it has been doing for a decade, I had to not only download Airport Utility 5.6, but a fucking hacked version that would run on El Capitan, because you fuckwits won't normally permit this eeeeevil application to run on said OS.

Now, I realize the desire to idiot-proof the setup of network devices, but doing so need not be mutually exclusive of offering entirely reasonable options and settings to network engineers. In short: Fuck you, Apple. Things are supposed to be easier in your ecosystem, not stupider. Keep this shit up and Cisco will get my money instead.
posted by Mr. Lion @ 22:42 EST | comments (0)

| Saturday, July 2 2016 |

Business for idiots.

Recent events in the business world have inspired me to write a primer for those who are, or who may be thinking about going into business for themselves. This is fairly specific to the tech industry, but the same general concepts apply to virtually everything that isn't a government run monopoly. In the vein of George Washington's Rules of Civility and Decent Behavior: Mr. Lion's Rules of Remaining in Business.

1) If you, like most, are relying on hiring or contracting in talent to build your Next Big Thing, perhaps the most important thing you can do is to be forthright and honest with any of said hapless souls you may be attempting to hire or contract. That, in general, means:

1a) If you do not have the money to pay said talent to build your Next Big Thing, you should tell them upfront. Rather than, say, three to five months after the fact. This will prevent said talent from working up the white hot rage of a thousand suns and directing it towards you.

1b) If you have not been in business before, or have only had misfortune and "learning experiences" in past, you should probably seek the advise and expertise of said talent rather than dictate to them how they ought build something that they have decades of experience doing, and that which you have none. This will prevent said talent from setting your house on fire and plotting intricate machinations involving you, a microwave, and several hundred rolls of aluminum foil.

1c) When you are attempting to recruit, hire, or otherwise interest prospective talent in your Next Big Thing, you should probably not get people who have the IQ of a diced carrot to tech them out. Namely as when the talent in question knows more than the bumbling fool you hired to make them look bad, the net result is that you look like a blithering moron to everyone but yourself. Namely as you are vapid idiot.

1d) As with 1(b), if you lack any and all technical competency in a given discipline, you should avoid telling talent you are trying to hire what methods and apparatus they should use based solely on your collection of search-engine provided buzzwords that have absolutely nothing to do with the project at hand. This will keep said talent from drawing Deadpool-like caricatures of themselves hacking your head off with a sawzall on the white board.

1e) The correct method of dealing with an inability to raise funds to build your Next Big Thing is to inform the talent you are attempting to hire of this, and provide meaningful and frequent updates on the matter. It is not to take a European vacation or buy a new sports car. Namely as said talent are generally not idiots, to the extent they know about your Instagram account, and this behavior will typically result in the general bile and hatred they foist in your general direction being turned up to eleven.

In summary then, when dealing with talent, it is wise to do as your mother and/or grade school teacher and/or parole officer taught you and treat others as you would like to be treated yourself. It is spectacularly effective in reducing the number of burning effigies created in your honor.

2) Communication is one of those things that few do well, and even fewer do perfectly. That said, one should make a passing stab at the concept, because making people chase you for information, assets, documentation or what have you serves only to illustrate that you are, in fact, a massive idiot and your dog’s sweater is more important than your business efforts. This tends to be the wrong message to send to people you are trying to entice to sacrifice long hours on your behalf.

3) Integrity is not just a word on a (de)motivational poster. Doing what you say you will do is a very good idea. At least trying to do what you say you will do is the bare minimum. Having absolutely no intention of doing what you say you will do, because you have figured out that burning bridges is a downright effective way of getting free work out of the highly talented, is right out. Assuming you’d like to avoid a rather unexpected brake warning light in your car while barreling down the freeway at 80 mph.

4) Priorities. These are important things. For example, when you are starting a business, it is more important to return phone calls, speak with talent and logistics people, and in a nutshell “run your damn business” than it is to attend birthday parties and/or go shopping for shoes. That of course assumes you would like to be seen as an upstanding member of the business community, and not the bumbling fucktard everyone who works for you is constantly making fun of on Slack. Which would be one of those tools you know nothing about, incidentally.

In a nutshell, the secret to success in business is to generally act like John Wayne in an old western. Treat people well. Have some class and style. Do what you say you will do. And do not treat people like discarded watermelon rinds. Otherwise, said people will not only take their toys and go home, but they will likely sue you, or at the very least tell everyone else who works in the relatively small community of people you desperately need to build your idiotic collection of suck and fail just how much of a mindless constellation of stupid you are, while stabbing pencils into a crudely drawn likeness of your face.

Thus ends another fine public service announcement, brought to you by one of the guys who builds things you need.

posted by Mr. Lion @ 00:39 EST | comments (0)

| Thursday, March 17 2016 |

The case for Trump

The last six months or so have been a rather interesting first act of what many, myself included, regard as one of if not the most important Presidential elections in the history of the nation. America, as it was founded, has been in real jeopardy for decades, and the last decade has nearly made it unrecognizable to those who came here looking for that singularly unique American Dream. The vile progs have played the long game, and played it well, hell bent on destroying that dream at any cost, creating in its place a socialist utopian Europey wet dream of diversity-via-totalitarianism stupidity. They succeeded in turning an entire generation of children into drooling vegetables devoid of marketable skills and rational thought. They’ve rekindled the race wars of the 60s to the degree folk like Martin Luther King are quite possibly hard at work in an effort to return to the living simply so they can beat the shit out of the useful idiots who enable it. They’ve saddled the good ship America with enough debt to sink the majority of the rest of the world. They’ve taken a once proud culture of liberty, a shining example throughout all of human history, and turned it into “acceptance as a religion” glop. They’ve weaponized the government against her people to a degree only dreamed about by fascists a large chunk of the greatest generation died to stop. And on, and on.

Eventually, this was going to come to a head, either in the form of a civil war, or a political correction so abrupt as to rattle the windows for decades to come. And here we are with the latter, which for many is likely the last chance to stop the former.

From the get go, there have been three candidates on the side of sanity who looked as they could do the job. Ted Cruz, Marco Rubio, and to the chagrin of many who butter their bread on scoff, Donald Trump. The rest were regional players at best who were, for one reason or other, unelectable on a national stage. None of them, however, have had to face the fire of ridicule, hostility, and downright blithering idiocy that has been thrown in the general direction of Trump.

Now, some six to eight months ago, I was hoping for a Cruz/Rubio ticket, which I figured was electable and generally sane. Alas, Rubio tossed his own hat in the ring, having done some very silly things that ultimately saw his campaign implode this past week. Cruz is easily the strongest conservative in the group, and has been my guy for quite some time. But. One of the things those of us who are sick and tired of it all had been looking forward to most of all, was what Newt Gingrich touched on briefly four years ago. Fight the media. Fight the talking heads. Fight the blithering idiocy, and do it loud and convincingly.

Cruz, rather unfortunately, has not done so. He has made an eloquent case for conservatism, and impressed many with his political scruples. He’s also fought quite a bit, though unfortunately, with Trump instead of the targets of the ire of so many. As a result, he is very much out of it, barring some hail mary series of events that has him winning over 80% of remaining delegates.

Now, I was a Cruz guy for quite a while. I like him, and I certainly won’t be sobbing in my beer if he somehow wins the Presidency— something I consider a long shot against Clinton given his bible thumping and largely uninspiring debates. I have my doubts that Cruz will go for the Clinton jugular to the degree she so richly deserves, and to the degree those who want a fighter want to see. No, demand to see.

Trump, however, is something of a phenomenon very few people saw coming. He was, and still is to those who clearly know what’s best, a joke. His accomplishments aren’t real accomplishments, say those who aren’t multi-billionaires and who have not run multiple businesses. He’s not playing by the rules. He’s calling out the media, hell, he’s owning the media at every turn, and not knuckling under at every turn. This, to his detractors, makes him a child, un-presidential, or whatever other jibe is popular that week.

My feelings on Trump are thus, and based on what I’ve heard in business and social circles, quite common among people who work for a living, at any stage of success.

First, the man is a doer. He’s a success. Those who support him don’t give one hot damn if he started with family money to build his empire, or went bankrupt, or sold this or lost that. That, as anyone in business will tell you, is simply part of the game. You risk, you lose, you risk, you win, you learn. And if you’re very good at that, you make millions. If you’re massively better than that, you make billions. Hence, attacking Trump’s business acumen is a farce to anyone who has actually, you know, started and run a business. It is also distasteful to those who work their butts off every day, and dare to dream that one day they’ll achieve something near that level of success. To crap on Trump’s achievements is to crap on that dream, and it is as disingenuous as it is unpalatable. That’s why pretty much every candidate who has tried it has gone down the tubes, and why every pundit to do the same has found themselves somewhere between ignored and reviled by quite a lot of people.

Second, Trump set fire to the concept of political correctness and media talking head kowtowing, and then blew it up and ran over it with a tank, before flying off into the sunset with his 757. He has taken the fight to those very people who enable and facilitate the blithering idiocy so many revile, and he has done it exceptionally well. A great many people do not care if he lacks eloquence at times, for the simple truth that he says what he means and stands behind it, no matter what. This very thing is what had the media talking heads running Trump implosion countdown clocks every Sunday, only to end up with egg on their faces come the next poll or primary. And those who want a fighter eat that up and ask for seconds.

Third, Trump is a leader and a showman. He’s extravagant, brash and unapologetic. His simple motto of “Make America Great Again” resonates because people believe the guy when he talks about it. He is the polar opposite of the meek, spineless, conniving politician that has sold the average joe down the river for decades. And that, is again exactly what quite a lot of people want.

More recently, Trump has the singular distinction of making just about the entire collection of statist idiots utterly lose their shit. Any state, any country, pick one and they are utterly flipping out over the concept of a Trump Presidency. Mexico, most of Europe, every state run by dipshits— they are all shrieking and flailing a little bit louder every day. And quite a lot of people, myself included, love that shit.

The final clincher for me, though, had nothing to do with Trump. No, what did it for me was the petulant, childish reaction that those who should know better, those on our side, presumably, have thrown at the man day in and out. Every Trump win has been met with more whining, more smarmy little quips, more mewling sycophancy to whoever is the “anti-Trump” from these people so as to bring an eventual “Just shut the fuck up!” from those of us who might otherwise agree with them.

Name an argument, and they have one.

Why, Trump doesn’t know anything about foreign policy! they mewl. As though any President ever knew what the hell was really going on until they were given their first brief. And as though Trump wouldn’t surround himself with the best of the best like any competent executive from day one.

Trump will get creamed by Hillary! Except for the fact that Trump has put together exactly the sort of moderate, independent and center-right coalition every right-leaning talking head has been screaming about the need for since before Romney got his ass handed to him.

And on and on, ever into more increasing minutiae. That nonsense is what did it for me, as ultimately, a vote for Trump is a large middle finger to those people, as much as to the leftist asswits who have been destroying the country and sucking the productivity out of people like me for decades.
posted by Mr. Lion @ 20:42 EST | comments (1)

| Friday, December 4 2015 |

Public Notice.

Given that President Zero's latest reichstag fire bright idea seems to be the equivalent of preventing car theft by leaving one's car in a dark alley with the keys in it: Move to replace all instances of "President Zero" with "President Fucktard".

posted by Mr. Lion @ 11:55 EST | comments (1)

| Saturday, November 14 2015 |

On Paris.

There are still a few good guys in France with guns, right? Because, y'know.. there's a pretty simple fix here.

-- Mr. Lion (@somelion) November 13, 2015

posted by Mr. Lion @ 19:47 EST | comments (0)

| Wednesday, October 28 2015 |

Rainy day ponderance.

One of these days I'm going to have to actually write about this empire of dirt I've been building over the last nearly-a-decade. 'course, that would require free time not already scheduled for scotch and/or naked women.

Until then, I'll just leave this here.


posted by Mr. Lion @ 20:27 EST | comments (0)

| Friday, October 2 2015 |

Dear Apple: OS X El Capitan

So far, 10.11 has a lot of little glue items I rather like. Even stupid little stuff like the new password cursor in terminal. There are, however, a few things I really do not like. So, bitch mode on:

1) When I have to disable System Integrity Protection to change the fucking horrid icon, System Integrity Protection is stupid.

2) If the new version of the aforementioned is going to require a six hour rebuild of my mail accounts, maybe fucking warn me beforehand?

3) While I realize the majority of iCloud users happily spew all of their iCloud-enabled information into said iCloud, I do not. Stop trying to trick me into doing so. Seriously, stop, or I'll just pull the iCloud plug all together. I barely tolerate iCloud mail as it is, and this continued fumbuckary is eroding said tolerance.

4) While I realize you guys hate Java nearly as much as Flash, some of us have to use it to pay for your shiny hardware. So maybe tell us when you're going to nuke and pave one's Java environment with an OS upgrade.

posted by Mr. Lion @ 18:47 EST | comments (0)

| Tuesday, July 28 2015 |

On Assholes.

It's not every day I agree with Piers Morgan on something. In fact, this is the first day. Ever.

Mogran opines on a recent transgression in Africa, in which a generally useless piece of shit named Dr. Walter Palmer, a dentist in Minnesota, thought it would be nifty to pay another bunch of useless pieces of shit $50,000 for the privilege of luring a lion out of a game preserve in Zimbabwe so he could kill it. Some people, who are also useless pieces of shit, call this "hunting".

It isn't.

I've been a hunter since I was judged old enough by my father to carry a rifle through the woods. I've hunted deer, moose, game birds, all manner of animals the like of which there are lots and lots of, to the point that their populations tend to explode without said hunting. I shot those animals because they taste good, and felt absolutely no remorse or concern for having done so. I took them home, cleaned them, and made a lovely barbecue that myself and many friends enjoyed over the years.

What I did not do, however, is mount any part of their anatomy to a plaque so I could display it to my buddies and attempt to convince them of my skill as a hunter, bravado, or penis size. Because doing that, in the opinion of this hunter of some 30 years, is fucking pathetic.

But what a certain Dr. Palmer did was not just pathetic, it was also illegal. It wasn't enough for him to travel to Africa and kill a species that is one step removed from being endangered. No, while there is a by all accounts thriving business in much of Africa known as canned hunting, wherein apex predators are raised specifically to be tied to a tree somewhere and shot by idiots so they have something to hang on their wall, this just wasn't challenging enough for Walter Palmer. He had to shoot a wild lion, of which there are around 20,000 left alive in the world.

In order to accomplish that, he paid a couple criminals to tote him out into the bush, lure a lion out of a game reserve with a dead animal, and killed it. Not cleanly, of course, as one can only assume it was more fun to wound this lion, and let it suffer for nearly two days, before having someone shoot it dead for him. At which point the interesting parts were cut off for Dr. Palmer's trophy case, and the rest left to rot in the bush.

Walter Palmer, you are an unspeakable piece of shit. As a hunter, a sportsman, and a human fucking being, you nauseate me. If there is any justice in the world, your despicable act will result in the loss of your livelihood, your friends, your family, and anyone on the "happy smile" side of being willing to piss on you after finding you burning in a ditch after a car wreck, you pathetic bastard.

In closing: Fuck you; you vile, ugly, pathetic little man.

posted by Mr. Lion @ 20:22 EST | comments (0)

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