Capitalist

Lion

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| Tuesday, July 28 2015 |

On Assholes.

It's not every day I agree with Piers Morgan on something. In fact, this is the first day. Ever.

Mogran opines on a recent transgression in Africa, in which a generally useless piece of shit named Dr. Walter Palmer, a dentist in Minnesota, thought it would be nifty to pay another bunch of useless pieces of shit $50,000 for the privilege of luring a lion out of a game preserve in Zimbabwe so he could kill it. Some people, who are also useless pieces of shit, call this "hunting".

It isn't.

I've been a hunter since I was judged old enough by my father to carry a rifle through the woods. I've hunted deer, moose, game birds, all manner of animals the like of which there are lots and lots of, to the point that their populations tend to explode without said hunting. I shot those animals because they taste good, and felt absolutely no remorse or concern for having done so. I took them home, cleaned them, and made a lovely barbecue that myself and many friends enjoyed over the years.

What I did not do, however, is mount any part of their anatomy to a plaque so I could display it to my buddies and attempt to convince them of my skill as a hunter, bravado, or penis size. Because doing that, in the opinion of this hunter of some 30 years, is fucking pathetic.

But what a certain Dr. Palmer did was not just pathetic, it was also illegal. It wasn't enough for him to travel to Africa and kill a species that is one step removed from being endangered. No, while there is a by all accounts thriving business in much of Africa known as canned hunting, wherein apex predators are raised specifically to be tied to a tree somewhere and shot by idiots so they have something to hang on their wall, this just wasn't challenging enough for Walter Palmer. He had to shoot a wild lion, of which there are around 20,000 left alive in the world.

In order to accomplish that, he paid a couple criminals to tote him out into the bush, lure a lion out of a game reserve with a dead animal, and killed it. Not cleanly, of course, as one can only assume it was more fun to wound this lion, and let it suffer for nearly two days, before having someone shoot it dead for him. At which point the interesting parts were cut off for Dr. Palmer's trophy case, and the rest left to rot in the bush.

Walter Palmer, you are an unspeakable piece of shit. As a hunter, a sportsman, and a human fucking being, you nauseate me. If there is any justice in the world, your despicable act will result in the loss of your livelihood, your friends, your family, and anyone on the "happy smile" side of being willing to piss on you after finding you burning in a ditch after a car wreck, you pathetic bastard.

In closing: Fuck you; you vile, ugly, pathetic little man.

posted by Mr. Lion @ 20:22 EST | comments (0)


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